So lately, I'm finding that I have about 3-10 go-to outfits. Out of the probably 50+ shirts that I have. None of my pants or jeans fit anymore. And the belt that I have is too big to serve a purpose. While these things mean I have almost met my weight loss goals (!), it also means that when I get to wear something other than my work clothes, I'm left with pretty slim pickins. So I've decided it's time to keep the few things that I wear, get rid of the ones I've grown out of (physically and emotionally), sell what I can to a second hand shop and donate the rest. Out with old, and eventually/slowly but surely as my budget allows, in with the new. (This is going right along with my new mantra of simplifying my life and everything in it.)
I know this closet clean-out is something I need to do, and I'm cautiously waiting for the right mood to hit again when I'm throwing shirts all over the place trying to find one that fits and doesn't make me look like I'm in high school. Shouldn't have to wait too long since it's happened four or more times this week already.
I'm actually excited about it. I've been putting off getting any new bottoms because I knew I didn't want to be and wouldn't be this size forever. Well, I'm not anymore. I committed to getting healthier and fit and will continue this lifestyle. Not only do I look better, I feel better. And it's time for my wardrobe to reflect this, and the better person I'm becoming. It's been so rewarding so far. And I was able to do it while working six days a week. Imagine what I can get done with two days off!
As I'm having trouble sleeping today (after my midnight to eight am shift), I've found myself browsing the Internet. Lately, Pinterest and certain blogs have driven me to think I need certain things in order to be...happy? But as I woke myself up convinced I should check Walmart.com for some things and maybe take a trip over there later today, I literally stopped and asked myself, will those frames and curtains really make you happy? Will that fix everything? Is it worth the trip and the gas and the money and the inevitable buyers remorse later? Probably not.
So I took a break, shut off the laptop and Duke came to cuddle with me and we watched Julie & Julia in honor of the great Julia Child's would-be 100th birthday while snacking on veggie chips and Klondike bars. These are the things that make me happy (especially the Klondike bars. And the puppy). Sure, having a beautifully decorated house to come home to helps and I'm needing I would like to get some replacement clothes because not a whole lot of mine fit anymore thanks to weight I've lost (another thing that makes me happy-working out. Which I should do-I've got a few pounds to go!). But we shouldn't become dependent on these things to fill a void. Keep doing the things that make you happy. Don't feel guilty about them, but try to keep them in check from time to time. And be able to separate the wants from the needs.
So, yet another thing I'm working on...
I feel like I've started so many posts with "sorry for the lack of posts lately" but the truth is, I haven't been able to dedicate as much of my free time to this blog as I'd like. Not even close. And that's because from the months of May through August (and now into September and October), I work a lot. Most weeks, for six days out of the seven. And sometimes those days consist of a midnight to 8 am shift. And it takes it out of you.
The last overnight shift I had hit me hard. I'm actually still recovering even though it's been over a week now. I don't really know what happened, but it all seemed to hit me at once and I was down for the rest of the week and even into this week. Which really stunk because my family came up yesterday. I'd love to have more energy during this time of the year to enjoy this weather, my family, the boyfriend, my puppy, this house, etc. But I'm just exhausted. Which doesn't help when an overload of emotions comes along. Or my lack of patience for things to happen and get done.
My family can read me like a book. And could see what was going on. And when I was doing nothing but sitting in my chair at work and the whole room started spinning, my mom called it fatigue and told me to call it quits. She reminded me that I can't control everything. And that I have to stop trying. Waiting on other people makes me crazy. And lately, that seems like all I can do. Which makes me even more loopy. I have no patience and when I want something, I want done right and now. So when I can't do anything to move things along and get them done, I get a little cranky.
I've got to stop. And sit back and look at what I have, now. It's good to have things to work on and look forward to. But my parents told me yesterday to take a break and enjoy right now. Otherwise, I'm going to miss it. And they're right. It's exhausting waiting and wondering and planning. While it's good to have plans and be on top of things, I need to be productive in other ways. By being happy and enjoying the things I have and those around me.
It's something I'm working on (among other things). But enjoying doing.
Here's my latest obsession that I can't let myself purchase. It's from J.Crew. Which should be a 'nuff said kind of accessory. And it is. Except for the price tag. Luckily, there are tons of knock-offs floating around. I just can't make up my mind. I'm sure it'll be out of style by the time I convince myself to buy it. Oh well. At least I can admire from afar.