Sunday, March 13, 2011

Growing up.

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Growing up feels more like madness than anything else sometimes. Spring break is ending and I don't feel very productive. We got some leads on places to live but with time running out, we still don't have anything set in stone. Which is getting to both of us. Not to mention trying to balance my workout routine that I've timed so perfectly (not) with school that's finishing up is also getting to us. One would think the end of school relieves and not stresses. But it adds SO much more pressure to finish strong and make sure that you actually finish (graduate). Most of my college career, I've had the attitude that if I didn't do well or needed to drop a certain class, I'd just take it next semester. There IS no next semester anymore! This is it! And while it's so exciting and I feel like it can't come fast enough, sometimes it scares the you know what outta me.
I've been taught for 5 years how to succeed and move up in the world and now, we're being thrown out into it and I'm not sure that I can do it. Maybe not right away. But there's a opportunity for me to do so right away and if I miss it, I'm probably not going to get another chance for a good while. I don't even want it for the glory; I not only want to be able to live a comfortable life, but to be able to contribute to that life with my boyfriend, his life, and our future, which includes kids, and their lives.
I think that's another thing that growing up is teaching me- it's not just about me anymore. There are other human beings whose lives and happiness can sometimes depend on me. My boyfriends life is constantly affected by me, which I've realized I need to try harder to improve. While we continue to be so blessed, have an amazing life and much to look forward to, it could be taken away very quickly. We need to remember this in all our lives.
A lot of lessons have been learned in the last year. I was in a very different place not long ago and I don't care to think about where I could be had it not been for those lessons, my family and friends, and my amazing boyfriend. I'm the happiest I've been my whole life and I cherish the things I have and try not to think about what we don't have (yet). And I know everything will work out the way it's supposed to.
My mantra has always been:
With this much happiness and this many good things in my life, I really have no room to complain or worry. 
Life is good.

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend- have an even better week. And remember to...

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