Last night, we had one of, if not the worst storms I've ever experienced my whole entire life. I'm sure it seemed worse because it was dark, but I don't recall ever seeing so much lightning, and long lightning-it was freaky. (At one point, I ran to the bathroom with my eyes closed.) And it didn't seem to cool down from the 80 degrees we had all day. It was humid, loud, scary- we might as well have been in the deep south (ha jk, mom). Needless to say, the boyfriend and I got about 2-3 hours of sleep. (I'm pretty sure Duke slept like a baby because he's just full of energy this morning). I, however, went back to sleep after the boyfriend left for work (bless his heart) and woke up at 9:30am- I do remember looking at the clock and saying "No it isn't." which seems to be my new thing- I also said it when I saw a snake on the front porch yesterday. PS- How's that for terrible luck?! My two least favorite things, snakes and thunderstorms at night, in the same day! Sheesh.
Anyways! I came across this quote this morning while relaxing that describes what I feel like I'm going through these days and wanted to share it with y'all.
In moving back to PA, graduating from college, getting a promotion, moving into a real house with my boyfriend, buying my first car, getting a dog, etc, etc. I'm finding more and more out about myself. Things I like, admire, want to be, things I hate, people I look up do, characteristics in myself I never knew I had, characteristics in others I do not want, how I conduct myself in certain situations, how to love the present, where I think I want to go, how I can get there, and what to do in the meantime. While it's mostly scary, it's also very exciting. The boyfriend and I have come a long a way and have many things to look forward to. And these things are helping me shape just who I am, and want to be. And with that, comes confidence- something I severely lacked in the past (although you might not know it from the way I talked ha). And I think that comes from not really knowing who I was. I was always comparing myself to others and seeing what (I thought) I lacked, instead of seeing what great qualities I did have, and those that I was developing. I also think it had a lot to do with what I was doing. Not a lot of admirable things. Nowadays though, I've accomplished a lot (quite a bit more than a lot of people my age, and even some older than me). And I've surrounded myself with the right people (unlike in the past- not everyone was bad! And those that were good have stuck with me.) I have quite the support group. It may be small but it's all that I need and I couldn't be more thankful (quality over quantity, I've found). Which not only feels good, but is teaching me who I am. And who I am becoming. So while I try on different lives, I can be sure of how I will be during these "fittings" because I can be sure of myself. Don't get me wrong- I have my moments/days when I'm constantly questioning myself. But I'm growing up and working towards being a better me, and it (finally) feels pretty dang good.
And this is what happens when your sleep schedule gets a little wanky! :)